Author: Joy Plote
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Why Dinner Table Syndrome Is Trauma
What People and Professionals Need to Know Joy Plote, LPC, CCTS I&F, CI/CT Dinner Table Syndrome (DTS) describes the experience of being physically present but excluded from family communication because others do not use accessible language (e.g., ASL). Deaf children and Deaf adults often sit at a table where conversations happen around them — not…
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Theory of Mind and the Deaf Experience: Why Language Access Matters
When we talk about human connection, we often think of empathy — our ability to understand how someone else feels. But underneath empathy lies something even more fundamental: Theory of Mind (ToM). It’s our brain’s ability to recognize that other people have thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are separate from our own. For most hearing…
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Dinner Table Syndrome: The Loneliness of Being Left Out at Home
By Joy Plote, LPC, CI/CT – Licensed Counselor, Interpreter, and Coda Love is supposed to be shared in conversation, laughter, and connection. But what happens when communication itself becomes the barrier? For many Deaf and hard-of-hearing people, love has always lived just out of reach — around the dinner table. What Is Dinner Table Syndrome?…
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The Power of Assertive Rights: Learning to Speak Up Without Losing Connection
“You have the right to exist and take up space in the world.”That sentence alone has changed lives. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), assertiveness isn’t about being loud or demanding—it’s about balance. It’s learning to honor your truth without harming someone else’s. For many of us raised in families or systems where speaking up felt…
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Love, Language, and the Wounds of Silence
A reflection on the deepest human need — to be understood. I have spent my life in the Deaf community — living, working, and loving within it. I’ve seen the pain that silence leaves behind, the kind that has nothing to do with sound and everything to do with separation. Over and over, I’ve watched…
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Trauma-Informed Approaches to Engaging with the Deaf Community: A Guide for Hearing Allies
Joy Plote, LPC, CCTS I&F, CI/CT When we talk about trauma-informed care, we often think about how we approach individuals in therapy, education, or crisis settings. But what happens when we enter a community where trauma is not just personal—but collective, cultural, and linguistic? For many Deaf individuals, trauma is not just about one event.…
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How PTSD Shows Up in Behavior: Beyond the Mind
PTSD doesn’t just live in the mind—it shows up in the body, emotions, and behavior in ways that can be confusing or misunderstood. Many trauma survivors are told they’re “overreacting,” “too sensitive,” or “unmotivated.” In truth, their nervous systems are doing everything possible to stay safe. Understanding these behavioral impacts helps us replace judgment with…
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Healing Without Talking: Why EMDR and Brainspotting Are Powerful Alternatives to Talk Therapy
When someone goes through a traumatic event, one of the hardest parts of recovery can be the idea of telling the story over and over again. Many people don’t want to relive the details. They don’t want to explain what happened. They just want one thing: to stop feeling the way they feel. This is…
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Understanding Complex PTSD: What You Need to Know
Trauma leaves deep imprints, but for some, the effects are more layered and enduring than what is typically described in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). That’s where Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) comes in—a newer diagnosis that helps us better understand the impact of prolonged or repeated trauma. What is CPTSD? CPTSD was officially included in…
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Coda: A Unique Experience and Culture of Its Own
The experience of Children of Deaf Adults (Coda) is often misunderstood or dismissed, both by the Deaf community and the hearing world. While they are frequently labeled as “hearing,” Codas experience a cultural and emotional reality that is deeply shaped by their unique upbringing in a bicultural, bilingual environment. This complex identity, formed between Deaf…
the Coda Counselor 